That’s what my cousin asked me, “what’s in your soul today” initially I thought well I’m trying to finish this bomb ass bowl of chili. Then my mind went to my Sunday to do list so I tell her well I need to wash my hair lol… she comments on that and then asks me “what is the great wisdom or revelation you have acquired to this point” I looked at my phone like what is up with this girl and these deep ass questions? I’m not in the mood. I finally responded. I do have an underlying revelation, a recurring statement… for me to “just do” things and stop thinking so much. My mom tells me this, my friends, hell even a blogger I just met on Twitter. It seems simple but to me it might as well be rocket science.
I’m a Virgo so being critical, of myself and others, and overthinking is natural. Not to mention I’m a business analyst for a living. I can investigation, train, plan, and think all day long. Execution is my shortcoming. Did I just say that? Well yea I did, it’s the truth. I have it all figured out in my head but when it’s time to execute, my feet are stuck in the mud. I can talk myself out of something as easily as I talked myself into it. I can also busy myself to where I have no energy left for whatever I was thinking. Not this time though. I’m going to conquer this demon!
If you ask me I’m a professional blogger, all the way.. .balls to the wall… this is me. But in reality I’ve only published 3 posts that were viewed by my closest friends and family. Why can’t I just jump out there? Scream it out to Instagram and Twitter, YO LOOK AT MY SHIT! Why can’t I “just do” this? Well for one, Fear. Fear of what? Well the unknown. Ultimately this is an extension of journaling, something I do religiously but I also want to find and connect with like minds. My own little so chill community where we empower and encourage one another. Yes I have family support, but it’s nothing like having a network of friends or peers who share similar interests or connect with your thoughts. I love meeting new people and hearing their perspectives. But where are those people, will I find them? Will they find me?
Then there’s the whole vulnerability that comes with sharing yourself with others.I was raised to be an independent woman and for so long that meant NOT sharing innermost feelings and thoughts. Plus if I did feel some type of way who wants to hear that anyway? Folks have their own issues. But as I get older, I understand it’s the contrary. Being vulnerable is a part of being independent. Definitely part of being a woman. It’s knowing yourself well enough to say/do what you please. Embracing and projecting who you REALLY are without fear of judgement. I’m also learning that people DO want to hear what I think… who would’ve thunk<<wait, is that word? If not, it’s gon be one today lol
Back to this text exchange with my cousin. She also has a fear she’s working through. We agreed to take baby steps so we aren’t overwhelmed and drawn back into our shells. Understanding that even with baby steps, there comes a time when you’re gonna have to “just do” it. I also told her on the other side of our fears is a stronger person. So instead of focusing on fears, let’s look forward to the person we’ll become once we overcome these bad boys.
What a great way to start my Sunday, that conversation definitely got the wheels turning. Hell, it’s the reason I made it a point to sit down tonight and type something. Just do it!! If I’m gonna talk about it, I HAVE to be about it. To whomever is reading this, I encourage you to listen to what your soul is telling you. There’s no greater joy then following your gut. It never leads you wrong. 😉
“Getting into a mindset where you can truly trust your own brilliance is paramount. Trusting your own brilliance means believing in your own voice, in your own story , in the power of your words, in your instincts, and in your passion” -Cara Alwill Leyba