In my early twenties I heard one of two things either one day I’d make a great mom OR motherhood just wasn’t for me (didn’t cook, lived alone and partied A LOT). I’d say whatevs to the great mom idea and kept it pushing but eventually God blessed me with not one but two sons. It took about three weeks for my maternal instinct to kick in with my oldest son but once it kicked in, it KICKED IN and I was in LOVE. The connection with my second son was instant. These two, the dynamic duo- dem boys- the Clark Bars, teach me something new every day rather it be through conversation or just them being them. Leaning on the strength from my oldest along with the life fundamentals from my little one there’s no limit to the things we can conquer, that’s why I call us the Power of 3. We are our own version of the Avengers.
One of my favorite conversations with my oldest took place when were living in Chicago. Me and the kids had been snowed in the house for a few days. I was in my room frustrated because I couldn’t figure out the snow blower, how the heck was I going to pull this off? I have to get back to work and the kids have to get to school. Here comes my baby with his brilliant mind.
Him: “Mommie, what’s wrong”
Me: “We have to leave tomorrow, I cannot get the snow blower started. That’s too much snow for me to shovel. I just don’t know what to do”
Him: “Oh that’s easy. I seen Daddy do it before. You just have to rip it like a BeyBlade”
He then bounces out of the room. I take a few minutes to compose myself and head back outside, let’s give this one more try. Over to the snow blower I go, this time I’m about to rip this sucker like a BeyBlade! And it worked!!! About an hour later I had a nice pathway cleared out. The side of the house looked like a big old snow ball but that’s ok. We can leave the house now. Problem solved!! Thanks to the mind of a then 5 year old. That is just one of several stories like this. With his strength, independence and fearlessness he encourages me to never give up.
And then there is my youngest son, my little sour patch kid. Why? Because he’s a handful to put it lightly. Mischievous. Always into something but will quickly cover it up with a big old smile or by flashing those big old eyes or giving one of the best hugs- a deucey hug. He wakes up happy and goes to sleep happy. He hasn’t talked me through any situations but watching him grow into his personality is just as rewarding. He shows me how important it is to live in the moment. To not hold grudges (as I’m prone to do), keep a smile on your face, be kind to others, laugh often and love hard.
There’s a laundry list of things I want for them but mainly for them to be respected and respectable young men. They have the world against them as it is. As for me, I will continue to be the best mom I can and provide them with a stable foundation. Just as I am here to guide them, they are also guiding me. I love them deep and want only the best for them.
“I will cross the ocean for you. I will go and bring you the moon. I will be your hero, your strength anything you need….” -Monica, For You I Will